hey could you hold this for me a second *gives you my hand*
when u stand up 2 fast n suddenly ur floatin thru space n time
long-distance friendships are terrible because you can’t meet up with them whenever you want and hang out on any given day which is why when i’m president i’m relocating the entire human population into a 10,000,000 story skyscraper that also acts as a bridge from earth to the moon which comes with the added benefit of swinging the moon around like a fucking mace, god damn it’s gonna look so cool. what was i talking about
"Literally no ___ has ever-"
Are you sure, are you really sure? Are you sure you want to say that right now? Are you sure? Think about what you’re about to say for a sec. You sure you wanna just do that? Right now??? right here???Utter those words on behalf of an entire group? Are you really sure?
literally no dog has ever been the preseident
Literally no spider has ever skydived
get a job
If they’re going to TRY scam they could at least spell advertisement correctly
I want someone to cuddle with now though